Waking up through grace – Intimate conversation

I wake up daily to continually live through God’s grace. Every day is indicative of the existence of his phenomenal presence. I don’t know what much have I really done better and right, to deserve your love. Because I don’t really think I do. But regardless of how many times I refuse to accept it, you amazingly leave me with no option but to acknowledge, recognize and accept your existence. You are always by my side and that I neither doubt nor question as it crystal clearly shows that I am worthy of your love. God, I look at the mirror and see a reflection of what you have completely helped to create through unfavorable circumstances. However, throughout all the challenges from birth, your grace has always sheltered me – against anything that is meant to bring me down. You are the greatest. In you, I find all that I have always desired to have. I look back but then instantly realize that you’ve always shielded me from all that was and is wrong that the world has to offer. You’ve been good to me. You’ve spared me life on numerous occasions when a sense of death was nearer, definite and living seemed impossible. You are God of all creation, nothing compares to you and your will is final. You are a present God. You’re everything. At times I trusted too much, failed to listen to my intuition and ended up getting disappointed, heartbroken and drowning in a capsizing (sinking) ship of struggles to accept, forgive and move on. You rescued me, in situations that I was clearly paralyzed from in all aspects of my being to ever be able to get myself out of. There are times when I look back and wonder how I miraculously managed to get out and rescue myself in certain predicaments as it seemed way beyond my human strengths to ever survive such experiences, but soon I then appreciatively realized I was never alone in my walk throughout challenges. You were always by my side to ensure that I went through every challenge you allowed if not put on my way for a purpose in order to teach me the most valuable life’s lesson of having faith, being patient, and learning to allow your will to take place even though it may contradict my plans and essentially understand that there are no guarantees that bad experiences may not occur when I am with and live through your presence. Good in bad and vice versa, and this can only be determined by how I personally react and subsequently which thoughts I allow to mentally be of dominance to a point of convincingly drawing an unfavorable present with a great possibility of the future being similar. It has never been promised that things would still not go wrong even when God is watching over us. I give thanks to the creator of heaven and earth as well as that of which exist in it. As alone, I realize I could not have done it without the invisible supernatural powers amazingly helping me without anyone or myself realizing it. His doings say more than any man could ever contemplate and let alone satisfactorily explain. Whatever you require of me, comes first as I am your vessel and exist to fulfill my purpose. As for what I want, comes second to that which you created me for – my true calling and purpose. And that’s final. When everyone turned their backs on me, you have always been with me. Through stormy seasons – you’ve been the clothing I’ve put on and worn to keep warm. It doesn’t matter what time of the day it is, you are forever ready to listen. Which is something humans easily get tired of as well as irritated by whilst you never. That additionally is a reflection of how great you are and nothing could ever amount to measure your love. I am magnificently a living proof through an individual self-realization journey of how truly great your presence is in my life. I am highly favoured by you. All could happen; people could get killed from every direction and angle, but I still remain unharmed by all that could be happening. For I have lifetime protection from you; my creator. In me you live, your mercy and love indeed are everlasting. You’re so kind, loving, forgiving and keep your promise. I wish I could be like you. In you, doubts I don’t (or hardly) have like I would normally. I am blessedly glad to have had you in my life before birth up until now. If my destiny, as well as fate, were to be decided by a human being; I can assure you now, I’d be dead and broken from all aspect of life. I’d be lost – like a newly born abandoned by his parents. You have out proven yourself, and not only that but have personally as well as spiritually spoken to me, through dreams, visions and intuitions and instincts. God, you are the greatest. Your mercy is everlasting. Your protection lasts for a lifetime. Your love is phenomenally immeasurable, limitless and unconditional; it’s neither selective in all broad aspects of it I have found myself in quite a number of few accidents on several occasions, and through your presence, I am still alive and healthy even today. If doubts I had about you, they all have been deleted due to realizing that I have been wrong all along, and yet at times questioning you, for you have and still continue to shield and prevail in every difficulty with the necessary answers in a form of solutions to any that I may need help of. Every sickness I have faced – you have always been the cure. Every drought of struggles I faced in my life, you have always reacted with rain at your own time as a needed solution. Nothing is impossible with you and nothing compares to you. Your light shines so ever brightly that it overpowers, squashes and submerges any darkness (and evil). Your presence and protection burn so deep that it buries any evil standing tall that intends to prolong its existence on earth. When I come to you, God I strip down and naked I vulnerably become for I don’t lie, or pretend either as my soul, thoughts, intentions and desires (good and bad), spiritually you are aware of. The same applies to my past, present and future; there is no need to deceive you as you are the creator. You know everything. You are everything that I sometimes blindly think I would deceive. This is rather an impossible task that I am yet to achieve. Lies I could not tell to you, for you would already know before I even say them out. Wherever I go, wherever I am at; every walk and nap I take and the gift of life I am forever blessed with through being able to see and be part of a new day and actually do what I love, it’s a dream come true – I know I am able to do what I do and live life to the fullest, only with the greatest help and mercy of the creator watching over me. Even when things go completely wrong, satisfied I may not be, but I certainly know God still is watching over me in spite of everything. With Him, everything happens for a reason and sometimes the reason may not instantly make sense at all. But all I know is that in Him I trust without restrictions and borders and rest fearlessly in his arms of faith as nothing is impossible as no bad circumstance is permanent. Unshakably firm I stand, through your stretched strength of wisdom in me, I thank you.

© 2019 Mmaletsema Mokgohlwa