Waking up through grace (Part 1)

I wake up daily to continually live through his grace. Every day is indicative of the existence of his phenomenal presence. I don’t know what I have really done better and right, to deserve your love. Because I don’t really think I do. But regardless of how many times I refuse to accept it, you amazingly leave me with no option but to acknowledge, recognize and accept my existence. You are always by my side and that I neither doubt nor question as it crystal clearly shows that I am worthy of your love. God, I look at the mirror and see a reflection of what you have completely helped to create through unfavorable circumstances. However, throughout all the challenges from birth, your grace has always sheltered, shielded and served as lifetime protection against all that is meant to bring me down. You are the greatest – In you, I find all that I have always desired to have. I look back but then realize that you’ve always shielded me from all that was and is wrong that the world has to offer for a purpose. You’ve been good to me. You’ve spared my life on numerous occasions when a sense of death was clearly inevitable and oppositely living seemed to be an impossible mission. You are God of all creation, nothing compares to you and your will is final. You are a present God. You’re everything. At times I trusted too much and ended up getting disappointed, heartbroken and drowning in a capsizing (sinking) ship of struggles to accept, forgive and move on. You rescued me, in situations that I was clearly paralyzed from in all aspects of my being to ever be able to get myself out of. There are times when I look back and wonder how I managed to get out and escape particular predicaments as it was way beyond my human strength to survive such experiences – but soon I then honorably and appreciatively realized I was never alone in my walk throughout challenges. You were always by my side to ensure that I went through every challenge you allowed if not put on my way to toughen and teach me most valuable life’s lesson of having faith, being patient, and losing while winning, and allowing the will of God to unfold even though it may align with my individual plans. I give thanks to the creator of heaven and earth as well as that of which exist in it. As personally with my human strength, I realize I could not have done it without the invisible supernatural powers amazingly helping me without myself or anyone realizing it. His doings say more than any man could ever contemplate and let alone satisfactorily explain. Whatever that you require of me will always be the main priority like I am to you. Your protection over me scares me too much for I walked upon snakes which never strike back and survived life-threatening situations where I did not even have to lift a finger as I was in a state of blindness, shock and paralysis. This part reminds me of a song by Elevation called “See a victory” and the lyrics are as following “I am going to see your victory, You take what the enemy is meant for evil and you turn for good”. It’s true.
When everyone turned their backs on me, you have always been with me. In every season, you’ve been the clothes and blankets I’ve put on and worn to keep warm. It doesn’t matter what time of the day it is, you are forever ready to listen to me. Which is something humans easily get tired of as well as irritated by whilst you never. That additionally is a reflection of how great you are and nothing could ever amount to measure the love that you have for everyone. I am magnificently a living proof of your constant presence. All could happen; people get killed from every direction and angle but I still remain unharmed and am standing tall because of your faithfulness and grace. You’re so kind, forgiving and loving. I daily pray and wish to be like you. In you, doubts I hardly ever have like I would normally. When my faith was not strong. I am blessedly glad to have had you in my even when my faith was full of nothing but doubts and questions whenever things did not go my way. It’s been a long journey of learning to trust you as I do in my traditions. If my destiny, as well as fate, were to be decided upon by humans. I can assure you now, I’d be dead and broken in all aspects of life. I’d be lost – like a newly born abandoned by his parents. However things are totally different with you in the equation, you all want nothing but the best for me. Your mercy is everlasting. Your love is phenomenally immeasurable, limitless and unconditional; it’s holistically not selective, hold grudges and lack understanding. I am alive and graciously appreciate the gift of life and what I have and still desire for your will to continue unfolding in my life as I have dreams of my own which I always pray they align with the ones you have for me. Doubts and questions I have ever had about you, have been deleted after a while the minute I realized my mistakes in your presence. You have and still, continue to shield and prevail in every difficulty with the necessary answers in a form of solutions to any challenges that I may need assistance for. Every sickness I have faced – you have always been the cure. Every drought I faced in my life, you have always on your own terms and time responded with rain. Nothing is impossible for you. You created heaven, angels, ancestors and earth; mountains, oceans, oxygen and a balance for all to coexist. Nothing compares to you. Your lights shines so brightly that it overpowers, squashes and submerges any darkness or evil. Your presence and protection runs so deep and buries any evil standing tall that intends to prolong its existence on earth. When I come to you, God I strip down and naked I vulnerably become for I don’t lie, or pretend as my soul, thoughts, intentions, and desires (good and bad), you spiritually are aware of. The same applies to my past, present and future therefore hence there is no need to deceive you as you are the creator. You know everything. Because you are everything. I sometimes blindly think I would deceive you – an impossible task to attain. You know what I think before I can even let it out. Wherever I go, wherever I am at; every walk and nap I take and the gift of life and dreams. I know I am able to do what I do and live life to the fullest, only with the greatest loan of life that has been made possible. In spite of how things may turn out to be, I will always and completely trust you. In the creator, I trust without restrictions and rest fearlessly in his presence as there is no alternative to him.

I wake every day to your mercy
A gift of life you still have loaned me
To fulfill a conscious search,
For that of which I am created for,
My purpose – I am referring to
On earth
Accompanied by broad deep of understanding
That electrifies,
That rejuvenates,
Drowned thoughts of self-identity
As well as reignite visions
In you I live with no constant fear
Security I do not pay for
As your presence is everything – My insurance and life cover
That no money could ever equate to
Trust in you, I laid
In me, you exist and part of me you are

A nap

Immediately when I nap
Another world I find myself
Journeying through,
Adventurously thrilling it is every second
Discoveries are made
“Impossible” non-existent
All that transpires – It’s real revelations

Immediately when I nap
From within
Inside of a being’s soul
I reside,
Spiritually viewing life
Of my family, friends, colleagues and strangers
Especially the struggles they face,
some hidden and invisibly suppressed beneath “keeping it together”
Difficult it gets by day
For all that is occurring,
For all that is to occur
Strangely gets to be revealed In advance

In conversation with my ancestors

How do I learn to not have fear, teach me my ancestors. Teach me how to learn not have fear. I happen to find myself in the epicenter of a brewing storm; faced and surrounded by lions in their own territory. An enemy as well as an invader – I am to them. “My heart is pounding and raged by fear of what to do next?” A way out seems impossible to contemplate. As options definitely seem exhausted and so is my energy. You promised not to forsake me through trying times. Regardless of how difficult it may get. If I don’t on my knees, cry to you; who should I then cry and run to in seek of help. I am used to navigating easily in my everyday world. It’s now worse with the fact that I can no longer see – I have lost my sight as a result of constant vicious attacks by my enemies as this has always been their ultimate wish to witness me suffer at all cost. I fear what next could be done unto me. Although my faith and trust in you, keeps my cold thoughts warm and my unreliable heart not to give up in spite of all these happenings. I need your guidance and sheltering now more than ever. What I am to do, when all options tried, have been exhausted with no success. I know that you’ve repeatedly pleaded and requested of my faith to remain attached in you throughout all seasons. And deter not, for in you “victory is mine to for the taking”. I must admit it is not easy as my expect speedy result meanwhile you moving at your own pace and prolonging your response time. I have done no wrong, but a criminal I am treated like; opportunities meant to come my way tend to be diverted to an opposite direction and subsequently a wall I hit built from scratch by an individual with vile intentions of precluding me from ever advancing in life. What have I ever done to deserve this? Why are you not doing anything to stop this? I keep on hoping beyond any hope that you would accordingly respond. Astonishingly as I drown in an ocean of tears with a cocktail of doubts, feeling let down and still keeping my faith held high. Then eventually calling it a night and napping. Then in the deepness of my sleep – You (my ancestors) spiritually visit me to converse a message that only I should know of. Your spiritual presence is overwhelmingly beyond any human understanding and comprehension. As an explanation was provided to make me understand things from a spiritual’s perspective through the guidance of my ancestors. The message specifically has to do with learning to understand and listen to what my ancestors try at all times to communicate with and direct me to the next destination of life that they want for me. This is one particular journey that I was never ready for. I had to learn to accept and live with it along the way as I matured into a young. When ancestors call they expect their call to be answered. If not there are always consequences. So through the deepness of my sleep they clearly make me realise that I may have plans of own but they also have plans of their own for me. That I need to have faith in my spiritual journey they have designed for me. As they are always with me even when I strongly believe they are not. They mention how this journey is not easy but achievable. Although commitment, discipline and learning are some of most important keys to easing the overall journey’s challenges. However it does not mean I would endure challenges and adversities as they are part of the package.

Every time when you think you are just dreaming, please know it is true and are not delusional and we are here with you for real. We (your ancestors) are here for a reason which is to mainly look over you and communicate a message, a warning and directives to you that need to be adhered to at all times. Don’t ask, “why me?” – You are not everyone.