Emergency

At a hospital, I find myself
This morning, in casualty
Extremely scared, I must admit
Yet confusion thunderously travels at the same rate as my heart beat
Like a person failing (and refusing) to hint a calling from ancestors,
Uncertainty brews like wild fires accelerated by wind,
With a directionless source of origin
I am emotionally burning coals to generate heat of positive thoughts
Hoping for this moment to fade away,
Praying for everything to be soundly fine,
Although simultaneously generating emissions of thoughts,
A contradiction, indeed – this has become
Draining my last droplet of hope infiltrating
My soul, faith and spirituality,
I am beyond petrified
Of what is to take turn next
In the next second, minute and hour
For life is unpredictable
One moment you have and the next is gone
I try so hard to freeze tears
As I contemplate and prepare for the worst
But reality is intensively rising like global warming
For me to process
Melting my ice-cold tears,
Into floods
Drowning every moment I count on

Living in fear

Scared of the unknown
Darkness approaching
Constant fear of death
I feel, nearer it is
Rattled by it
Way forward turned into a fog
Visibility struggling with
As nothing I see
Although anything could happen
For I feel it – Though I see it not
I sleep,
Then instantly all is revealed
As a vision
Confirmation, this turns into
Of my discomfort