Reality of love

All these times

I thought

You’d change

If only I loved you more

Days would pass by

Without you calling

Even on my birthday

Worse feeling ever

I’d lie by myself

Staring at the roof

Asking endless questions

I call

And you ignore me

Like a total stranger

The next day

You act like nothing happened

I cry and beg for your love

You look

And tell me with a smile

That I am complicated and too much

You make promises

And fail to keep them

What do I need to do?

To make you love me

I am drowning

Can you not see?

What did I ever do?

To deserve such treatment

I no longer recognize myself

You have taken so much

From me

And I allowed you

But no more

Throughout my life

I have always ran towards you

While you away from me

Although it took me great time

To see and realize

I am ready

To let go

And repel

Against any gravitation towards you

Love

you walked in

one look at you

i knew

you were exactly

what I never knew

I needed

a beautiful disaster

a bit scary and unexpected

never been in this position

before

in control I have always been

but not with you

its a new world

of what true love

is capable of in a human

i was shaking like never before

could not sit still

my heart was loosing control

all plans i ever had

were aborted

of not aligning with a committed relationship

I’d move mountains

I’d be for you

in everything and everywhere

I will keep my promise

to love, protect and keep you safe

to walk for you where you fail

to be your strength when weak

for i have loved you

since day one

and will always love you

for zillions years to come

I appreaciate you

for showing me

that true love exists

from day

upon meeting

‘without even uttering any words

and just purely connecting

through each other’s presence, attraction and spirit

I could never have believed “true love”

had it not happened to me

for it’s rare nowadays

but our instant connection

revealed that it’s possible

in places

and with people

that we thought of

like with you – it was love at first sight

we were total strangers

who instantly had a love connection

Words

Words the eyes of my thoughts
State and shape of my vision
What I breathe and consume to stay alive
Food to my soul
Words the sound of music I dance to
Lost in rhythms, my inner-self I vividly find
Words are beautiful and pure like a newly born
Who is without sins yet if a righteous path is that,
He shall walk upon
Influential words are for when spoken so much unfold
Miracles occur and people change for the worse
People change for the better – Horizons expand
Varies opportunities become available
If one listens attentively with good intentions
One also has a choice to either let mere words
To outline and direct their destiny and what could and should be
Words are exceptional if only you strip-off
Those that serve no purpose and add no value in your life
As to build and cement your clear-minded foundation of an everlasting legacy to leave behind
That has success and inner peace as its main priority

Optimism

Beautiful everything looks
So it’s my future
The road is rocky and full of curves
But nothing is without such element
This journey, I had envisioned as a baby
Yet gradually it’s coming true; “And no longer a wishful thinking”
The end I know
The end I visited with thoughts and through my visions
For everything is possible
Depending on one’s imagination of possibilities
Safe heaven I foreseen from birth – My calling towards my purpos
e on earth

Love

At times we complicate things and misread the entire process of what love is supposed to be and serve.

  • Love is measurable through an array of actions over a period of time – You can tell when someone is instantly attracted to you. But you cannot tell if someone truly loves you in a day. People have different intentions which could as Steve Harvey puts it, “either to play or plan with you”. Therefore to be able to establish the real intentions hidden behind a supposedly or genuine love; time and treatment are some of the essential factors that would make a determination. The answer is simple and yet difficult to contemplate and digest as it is based on actions which usually speak volumes and yet we are deaf to. These actions may be small and consistently repeated over a long period of time culminating into something that fundamentally indicates one’s language of love. This language of love is not only restricted to a specific partner but further expands to and includes a friend or someone who hardly declared their love but shows it through the kind of treatment they direct towards you. For instance, knowing that your concerns, voice and thoughts matter, that someone wants to know how your everyday is (good or bad), someone listens to you and is always available or rather makes time for you because you matter at all times. And this is done consistently and not only when it suits one’s skewed selfish intentions. These actions that I am referring to include keeping promises, honesty, commitment, compromises, kindness, respect (regardless of how hurt one may be), empathy and prioritizing for someone other than self. Love and desire are often confused to be one. Just because you’ve been in a relationship with someone for years, that does not necessarily mean your partner truly loves you. It could merely be a desire that is distinctively continuous even though you get to be told everyday that you’re loved. There fact that you are going out, dating, cohabiting, have kids together or living together does not automatically translate into love regardless of how long you may have known each other and been together. When someone truly love you naturally become a priority in their lives. Your problems becomes theirs. You need not to be told that you are loved. You will just know. It is natural. Sometimes this type of love is found in someone or a place you never expected. In someone who is totally the opposite package of what you had envisioned. “Opposite package” in a way that you connect at a level you do not expect to actually connect with another individual at as it is scary. Because if the same person were to hurt you then pain will be too much to bear. Love should be measured. Being with someone for a long time does not meant love. However, it is “time” that shall reveal how your partner loves you or not. One thing that is inexcusably not love is abuse of any form. It matters not as nothing could ever justify it. But the surfacing of abuse owe its existence to time and one’s background or childhood and accelerated patriarchy. How a partner treats you after years such as controlling your movements, cheating, breaking you emotionally or physically, leaving you after retrenchment or pregnancy and not taking responsibility for the life they helped create. It’s wrong and also an absolute indication of absence of love and other interpersonal issues one may be faced with. It is said that “love is the absence of judgement and it is also a process that gives and not the process that receives as it  should be two dimensional. In most relationships this is hardly ever the case – I guess it’s different strokes for different folks. However it is only with time that this gets to be revealed and the falsified or supposedly true love that many easily prophesy on one day of meeting and a year of knowing each other undoubtedly explodes in revealing that one was never committed, prepared nor intended whatsoever to be chained to a particular relationship all along. Love should not hurt. Nobody is perfect but no one either should put up with being intentionally and recklessly hurt by their partners. A person can manage to lie about how they truly feel upon meeting but gradually it is only after a long time of being together that one could no longer keep up with their lies for one would have successfully achieved their intended goal. Therefore, the investment would no longer be of worth as interests one would have gained and eventually lost over time. The bottom line is there is nobody who would continue to invest in what s(he) has lost interest in. Red flags are always detectable in certain incidents but yet not taking into serious consideration. No amount of love could change a partner for the better until the partner decides on their own accord to finally change. Don’t set up yourself for misery. I repeat actions speaks volume; take time out and analyze people within your inner circle such as parents, friends and a partner among a long list of people you have. Look at how they (their actions and impacts) make you feel, how they communicate (hear, listen and respond to you or) with you, what value they actually add into your life and how they specifically respond to your individual failures and successes. Pay attention. It is in people’s actions as well as reactions that love (and how a person truly feels about you) is clearly visible.
  • Love is transparent – This means it should be made easier by people who have a connection with one another to naturally know where they are with each other as far as their ecosystem of emotions are concerned. Connection between two people comes in different forms. These forms need to be briefly highlighted and discussed and ensure all parties are on the same page. As to avoid any misunderstanding and formation of different unnecessary expectations. Not all people are mind-readers. It is prerequisite to know each other expectations and whether they shall be fulfilled and where they cannot then reach a compromise and where a compromise is not an option come up with a new solution. However, if a solution is not of satisfaction to both parties then obviously going separate ways after committed several attempts would not be such a bad idea. Love does not intent to waste or delay time, individual needs and progress of one party over the other. It is rather honest at whatever cost even when that cost possibly means destroying that which is preciously in existence and eliminating all various benefits one enjoys. It’s simply and purely honest and gives nobody or the other party false or wrong hopes. When love is no more or the depth of it immensely differ it reveals it through an open discussion with the other party involved. It does not wait for the other party to initiate the conversation. Love is honesty – whatever the price. Being honest means being hurt truth and that requires of one to be confident, firm, decisive, bold, reliable, accountable and not passive.
  • Love moves on – It does not chain one to still live the past in the present. It provides one with a platform to learn from their mistakes and avoid them. To also be a good judge of character and interrogate, analyze and scrutinize everything that people who claim to love you and also draws comparison of what they say and do. But most importantly this point is hugely centered around not allowing the past to have a massive negative influence on the present. It is more of letting go, accepting the past for what is was and literally starting afresh on a clean slate. Knowing that as long as the sun rises, a chance you have to create another new footprint of love. Forget the past lovers and accept the roles they had played in shaping the individuals we have turned out to be. What they may have wrongly done should not affect us from creating new chapters and developing new intimate connections and looking forward to what blessing of positive changes they shall rain in our lives. And create new emotional, physical, spiritual and financial connections with the new love in all its formation. It provides people with the new chance of re-writing the past mistakes in new chapters of life. Moving on, also entails finding inner peace and not sweeping unresolved issues from previous relationships under the bed with the intention of miraculously forgetting that which transpired. As issues from previous relationships should be accordingly dealt with as to not prevent and slow down the progress of a new relationship. It gives new connections a chance with the main hope of success without ever having to make continuous reference to the past. It’s not always easy especially if they are lot of things to remind one of the past.

It is not me

When will this line of thinking “it’s the world’s fault except mine” ever come to an end? Refusing responsibility when circumstances do not favor you it’s rather questionable and reveals more of an individual’s character than their intelligence and ability to get themselves out of problems.

If there is one thing I have learnt along the way is the mere fact that there is a need not to always be right and win every discussion that you partake in. Every discussion you have should never be based on a competition nor competing ideas neither.

At times taking full responsibilities of some of the mistakes you unintentionally and intentionally made does not mean you’re weak. It means you want to do right by everyone. It also shows your maturity level.

Heart speaks volumes

If the world were to end
Want it to end with me
Tightly holding unto and looking at you
Telling you how much you mean to me
How incomplete, life is to be without you
With floods of tears washing away doubts
And intimately creating a new form of birth
For us
In your last moments on earth
That shall never ever be replaced

If the world were to end
Want it to end with us
As a family with our beautiful kids
Tightly rooted around you
Wiping away your tears
Enjoying the last moments
And remembering what an exceptional mother
You truly are and always will
And that it is alright to say “goodbye”
Even when you desperately wish not to
Worry not, for our kids are lucky – to have had you in their lives
To have us or one of us alive and available to still take care of them

If the world were to end million times
Want it to end with me
Telling you
Like I have always told you – day and night
You are my best and everything -the heartbeat of my existence
You are a phenomenal mother, superwoman and partner
The first person to share everything with
Be it the lowest and greatest moments, defeats and achievements
On my chest you shall rest
To lastly feel the heartbeat of your love, wisdom and soul
Running through my veins
And that of our children

Treasure

Treasured you are in my mind and heart
Your love is a blanket that keeps me warm
God undoubtedly took his time to create you
For beauty you are gifted with
Addicted I am to you – Rehab certainly my next stop
Paralyzed all my senses become, every second you cross my mind
Your angelic smile and soothing voice – so therapeutic and heavenly
Your eyes, a glimpse of our tomorrow I see through them
Nothing I have for you except the greatest love
As loving you has naturally become a hobby
That I greatly enjoy
Has turned into a shower
That I need to start and end a day with
Has become the air
That I breathe for survival

Every second of every minute and hour
Has become a nap
That I daily surrender to

I am for you throughout all seasons
I hope everyday becomes a holiday for you

Africanized Truth

Paths embarked upon
Much revealed
Beneath your pretenses
Transparent you are
Your interior; a foreign language

I am familiar with and truly understand
Codes encoded in you, I spiritually know
For I programmed them
A mathematical equation you are that I can blindly work out
Yet many struggle to and many I am not

New version of self

I woke up to a different person,
Full of exceptional energy,
Feeling lighter,
Already looking forward to anything
That today shall bring about
Dancing to the beat of the heart,
For indicative it is to a continuous existence of life,
The moment extremely joyful,
Outside the sun is shining brightly,
All that happened happened
Regardless, the past not to be re-lived in the present
But forward this stranger is heading
Whilst the journey self-revealing it is,
As everyday gives a chance to rectify previous faults,
And learn to grow from them
Different he is from yesterday,
A new positive identity he developed/ gave birth to,
Face painted with gladness, peace and love
Loud music plays – a sign of eternal joy
Complimentary, of a newly restored faith
Different person, I woke up next to,
Full of life; programmed to readily take on anything,
Like a virus secondly changing its structure,
To outsmart, outplay and conquer its victims
Ooh, ready he looked

Gratitude

I wake every day to your mercy
A gift of life you still have loaned me
To fulfill a conscious search,
For that of which I am created
My purpose – I am referring to
On earth
Accompanied by a broad deep of understanding
That electrifies,
That rejuvenates,
Drowned thoughts of self-identity
As well as reignite visions
In you I live with no constant fear
Security I do not pay for
As your presence is everything – My insurance and life cover
That no money could ever equate to
Trust in you, I laid
In me, you exist and part of me you are

Waking up through grace (Part 1)

I wake up daily to continually live through his grace. Every day is indicative of the existence of his phenomenal presence. I don’t know what I have really done better and right, to deserve your love. Because I don’t really think I do. But regardless of how many times I refuse to accept it, you amazingly leave me with no option but to acknowledge, recognize and accept my existence. You are always by my side and that I neither doubt nor question as it crystal clearly shows that I am worthy of your love. God, I look at the mirror and see a reflection of what you have completely helped to create through unfavorable circumstances. However, throughout all the challenges from birth, your grace has always sheltered, shielded and served as lifetime protection against all that is meant to bring me down. You are the greatest – In you, I find all that I have always desired to have. I look back but then realize that you’ve always shielded me from all that was and is wrong that the world has to offer for a purpose. You’ve been good to me. You’ve spared my life on numerous occasions when a sense of death was clearly inevitable and oppositely living seemed to be an impossible mission. You are God of all creation, nothing compares to you and your will is final. You are a present God. You’re everything. At times I trusted too much and ended up getting disappointed, heartbroken and drowning in a capsizing (sinking) ship of struggles to accept, forgive and move on. You rescued me, in situations that I was clearly paralyzed from in all aspects of my being to ever be able to get myself out of. There are times when I look back and wonder how I managed to get out and escape particular predicaments as it was way beyond my human strength to survive such experiences – but soon I then honorably and appreciatively realized I was never alone in my walk throughout challenges. You were always by my side to ensure that I went through every challenge you allowed if not put on my way to toughen and teach me most valuable life’s lesson of having faith, being patient, and losing while winning, and allowing the will of God to unfold even though it may align with my individual plans. I give thanks to the creator of heaven and earth as well as that of which exist in it. As personally with my human strength, I realize I could not have done it without the invisible supernatural powers amazingly helping me without myself or anyone realizing it. His doings say more than any man could ever contemplate and let alone satisfactorily explain. Whatever that you require of me will always be the main priority like I am to you. Your protection over me scares me too much for I walked upon snakes which never strike back and survived life-threatening situations where I did not even have to lift a finger as I was in a state of blindness, shock and paralysis. This part reminds me of a song by Elevation called “See a victory” and the lyrics are as following “I am going to see your victory, You take what the enemy is meant for evil and you turn for good”. It’s true.
When everyone turned their backs on me, you have always been with me. In every season, you’ve been the clothes and blankets I’ve put on and worn to keep warm. It doesn’t matter what time of the day it is, you are forever ready to listen to me. Which is something humans easily get tired of as well as irritated by whilst you never. That additionally is a reflection of how great you are and nothing could ever amount to measure the love that you have for everyone. I am magnificently a living proof of your constant presence. All could happen; people get killed from every direction and angle but I still remain unharmed and am standing tall because of your faithfulness and grace. You’re so kind, forgiving and loving. I daily pray and wish to be like you. In you, doubts I hardly ever have like I would normally. When my faith was not strong. I am blessedly glad to have had you in my even when my faith was full of nothing but doubts and questions whenever things did not go my way. It’s been a long journey of learning to trust you as I do in my traditions. If my destiny, as well as fate, were to be decided upon by humans. I can assure you now, I’d be dead and broken in all aspects of life. I’d be lost – like a newly born abandoned by his parents. However things are totally different with you in the equation, you all want nothing but the best for me. Your mercy is everlasting. Your love is phenomenally immeasurable, limitless and unconditional; it’s holistically not selective, hold grudges and lack understanding. I am alive and graciously appreciate the gift of life and what I have and still desire for your will to continue unfolding in my life as I have dreams of my own which I always pray they align with the ones you have for me. Doubts and questions I have ever had about you, have been deleted after a while the minute I realized my mistakes in your presence. You have and still, continue to shield and prevail in every difficulty with the necessary answers in a form of solutions to any challenges that I may need assistance for. Every sickness I have faced – you have always been the cure. Every drought I faced in my life, you have always on your own terms and time responded with rain. Nothing is impossible for you. You created heaven, angels, ancestors and earth; mountains, oceans, oxygen and a balance for all to coexist. Nothing compares to you. Your lights shines so brightly that it overpowers, squashes and submerges any darkness or evil. Your presence and protection runs so deep and buries any evil standing tall that intends to prolong its existence on earth. When I come to you, God I strip down and naked I vulnerably become for I don’t lie, or pretend as my soul, thoughts, intentions, and desires (good and bad), you spiritually are aware of. The same applies to my past, present and future therefore hence there is no need to deceive you as you are the creator. You know everything. Because you are everything. I sometimes blindly think I would deceive you – an impossible task to attain. You know what I think before I can even let it out. Wherever I go, wherever I am at; every walk and nap I take and the gift of life and dreams. I know I am able to do what I do and live life to the fullest, only with the greatest loan of life that has been made possible. In spite of how things may turn out to be, I will always and completely trust you. In the creator, I trust without restrictions and rest fearlessly in his presence as there is no alternative to him.

I wake every day to your mercy
A gift of life you still have loaned me
To fulfill a conscious search,
For that of which I am created for,
My purpose – I am referring to
On earth
Accompanied by broad deep of understanding
That electrifies,
That rejuvenates,
Drowned thoughts of self-identity
As well as reignite visions
In you I live with no constant fear
Security I do not pay for
As your presence is everything – My insurance and life cover
That no money could ever equate to
Trust in you, I laid
In me, you exist and part of me you are

A nap

Immediately when I nap
Another world I find myself
Journeying through,
Adventurously thrilling it is every second
Discoveries are made
“Impossible” non-existent
All that transpires – It’s real revelations

Immediately when I nap
From within
Inside of a being’s soul
Temporarily,
I reside,
Spiritually viewing life
Of my family, friends, colleagues and strangers
Especially the struggles they face,
some hidden and invisibly suppressed beneath “keeping it together”
Difficult it gets by day
For all that is occurring,
For all that is to occur
Strangely gets to be revealed In advance

Appearance

Beautiful she is – I constantly tell her
disbelieve on her face
with instant comparison to others, shocks me
for her beauty differs
I tell her always
Many need what she needs not
Precious that is – She must learn
Her eyes, face, smile, hands, legs
Results in people bumping into each other
Causing more unpreventable human collision
Her beauty is to be blamed
I tell her
Not happy she looks
As beauty can be her downfall – she realizes
For it brings creatures of different kinds
With different intentions
Ultimate control lies with her, she admits

Creator

You are the greatest
Throughout all seasons
Things happens
Which are beyond human comprehension
That leave behind a million of burning questions
Despite it all
One does not have to understand everything
Through this journey of faith
As battles are part of it
Although your sacrifice
Does not go unnoticed
When I am bruised with pride
Your love remain everlasting
You are the greatest
Your name brings down rain
To drought-stricken nations
Your grace
Washes away any form of pain
Your love
Dismantles any weapons formed
You command
Mountains move
Heaven obeys
More is yet to come

Living in fear

Scared of the unknown
Darkness approaching
The constant fear of death
I feel
It is nearer
Rattled by it
The way forward turned into a fog
Visibility remains a struggle
As nothing I see
Anything could happen
Though I see it not
I feel it
When I sleep
Then instantly all is revealed
As a vision

The normalized love story of Tshepo and Lerato in our communities

Tshepo tried by all means to protect someone that he genuinely loved from almost everything that was bad and toxic, hence in his quest to provide his partner Lerato with the necessary protection, he shockingly discovered that the only protection she ever needed, should have strictly been against him from the start. Every day has its discovery, too bad that his eventually forced him to critically introspect, revisit and re-evaluate his principles and dual-interaction where love is concerned. That still had no positive effect either. He soon realised that he has been partially selfish which led to an emotional abuse that his partner suffered as a result. He may have seen it coming but did not think or make much of it. Lerato was strong and independent and graciously still is presently, however at the center of it, she was just human, has feelings and a heart that could easily break if abused and not handled with care as it was the case.
The story of Tshepo and Lerato is no different from most couples in South Africa as from a distance their relationship looks admirable but when one comes closer to there is actually less to love about its functioning. As it is made up of so many dangerous complexities and islands with constant hidden raging waves of all form of abuse which at times seems detectable and invisible to many in close circles. Similar relationships also are evident in our circles and extremely physical to some extent that a woman would loses her life in the hands of her partner or it is deeply draining of one’s emotional capacity to be able to deal with one-self issues related as well as emanating from being in a rather toxic relationship. Therefore a broad societal concept of abuse should never be constrained or restricted only to physical, financial or and emotional harm.
All these times when Lerato switched off the alarm of her heart and every time she would visit his place. She had no idea that she was always in a prone abuse zone – dangerously this happens at the same time when her guard is down for she thinks she’s safe and in the hands of her protector who soon caused emotional abuse. But her instincts have always alluded to her that there was nothing but disappointment to attain from this particular relationship. But she never fully understood what her instincts meant or were trying to warn her of. As outspoken and opinionated she was, little did she realise that she was literally running away from being single as perpetuated by societal norms, fear of loneliness and oppositely toward an unpredictable emotional abuse by her partner, Tshepo. But she had an idea of the type of her partner truly was but still, this should not serve as a base for any man to inexcusably justify bad behaviour and sickness of any kind which is massively associated, contributes and directly leads to abuse, either intentional or unintentional or both. However, be that as it may, this should be prevented at whatever cost. Government, men and society as a whole need to play their part by teaching themselves how to treat women in their lives when they are not close by and even when they are, distance or no distance the behavioural pattern should remain the same and not be influenced by distance, absence, and worse patriarchy as this should be prevented. Abuse in a country such as South Africa is caused mainly by men like Tshepo, Frankie, myself and many other more. We perpetuated or accelerated the scourge of abuse through various ways such as the culture of remaining silence when one of us as man; objectifies, insults, beats-up, rapes and murders a woman or worse a baby for no good reason. Women such as Lerato also fail to react accordingly to any sort of abuse from men like Tshepo. But this still does not excuse any barbaric and abusive acts committed by my men against women and children in South Africa. Why should it always has to be woman who needs to firstly act an abusive man? The legal system needs to fragmented in a way that its implementation would do justice for millions of desperate women who happen to find themselves facing abuse from their partners. In addition, the entire process somehow from a different perspective highlights one error that humans commit by simply thinking that someone like Tshepo or any other abusive man would change. No amount of love, patience, respect, intimacy, understanding, mothering and commitment would ever truly change a person for as long as one is not willing to change for whatever reason.
It’s quite unfortunate that regardless of how much effort one may exhibit and dispense with the purest intention of constructively highlighting and criticising mistakes that one partner commits could amount to no success. At times you think a partner would view and receive criticism well, only to find out later that one has for a long time been pretending to have taken your concerns into consideration. The reason being that there are certain individuals that just don’t take life seriously nor care about anyone. They are incapable to love as their minds are programmed to cause nothing but harm to women. Some feel so much hatred towards women that even a mere love cannot dilute it. Some look human but lack any human traits such as emotions and love among other things. When caught in the act of evil or abuse of women – it’s never their fault or they are simply victims or they show no remorse which clearly reveal their tendency to repeat similar if not far worse crimes. The unfortunate part is that if some of this abusers and psychopaths would never be rehabilitated even if they pretentiously show signs of such as they are extremely intelligent. Abuse of any kind should never be tolerated. If you survive it today there is no guarantee that tomorrow you will. This should always be remembered. We only have one life and no form of abuse condoned and perpetuated by love is worth us sacrificing our lives over. Women please understand this. Pay attention to your instincts. Do not tolerate any abusive tendencies at all from any man. Or else you stand huge chance of becoming part of statistics in S.A. Being a woman in South Africa is dangerous that any human should be.

Leadership

In the absence of leadership
Lawlessness prevails
And citizens are forced
To take the law into their own hands
Inevitably casualties are to occur
Bonds of all types – break
Families get destroyed
Unity dissipates

In the absence of leadership
A country burns to flames
Like wildfires so strong
And quickly floods
into neighboring countries
Spilling havoc and trace of destruction
Lives are destroyed
Yet in silence politicians, political parties and presidents
Of different countries fail to do right by their people
And take a firm stand

In the absence of leadership
Nations turn against each other
Those at fault ignorantly fail to acknowledge
Their wrongs in all aspects
Fail to take full responsibility
For crimes committed
A blind eye they turn
But if tables were turned
A threshold most of them
would instantly reach
for crime has no racial connotation

Leaderships lacks
When desperately needed
This rather reveals
That only citizens
Can create the change
They need
Through an alternative civilians led government
For government is non-existence
Only citizens can rescue themselves
Through various legal means
Available for their usage

In the absence of leadership
Another form of leadership
Should take its course
For the citizens
By the citizens

A Nap

In my sleep
I connect with my ancestors
Their spirit deeply runs through me
Crossing over the other side of life
The greater unknown mystery
Where fear gives birth to bravery
For crossing over gives no guarantees of return
To normality for others
As the other side – Is of the departed
Only the deceased can enter
For the right of admission is reserved
Though exceptions are available

Healing and acceptance

Never thought this day would come
So soon
where I need to say goodbye
looking back, I appreciate
the times we spent together
the memories we created – irreplaceable

Watched you on deathbed
heavily medicated
helped you carry on
doctors tried their best
their best was not enough
as well
I am lucky to have had you
In my life

not even death will separate us
your visits in my dreams
when extremely hurt
serve as a constant comfort
that I am not alone
you’re with me spiritually and forever looking over me

we are now in different worlds
there can never be anyone like you
I never thought it would be this hard,
If only I had known

we have come a long way
traveled side by side
the road was not always tarred
we shared so much
not even words could describe
the flow of our bond
we endured pain and loss
ran through challenges as a team
nothing compares to it

I shall forever cherish
the fact that I found my equal
and gracefully shared everything with
for this rarely happens
the experience and journey is beyond my imagination

Living in fear

Scared of the unknown
Darkness approaching
Constant fear of death
I feel, nearer it is
Rattled by it
Way forward turned into a fog
Visibility struggling with
As nothing I see
Although anything could happen
For I feel it – Though I see it not
I sleep,
Then instantly all is revealed
As a vision
Confirmation, this turns into
Of my discomfort

Untitled

Truth hurts
Secrets bleed many
Trust broken
Forward, everyone goes
Forgiveness difficult to practice
Distance grows
Though together; everyone lives
Struggle proceeds
Strain, everyone feels
Silence, everyone suffers from
Disconnection continues, still
Decisions to be made
Fearful many are
Yet damage grows like a tumor
Eating away little that is already left
Of any second chance to life
Like a writer of life
Ideas, I run without
Yet the source of ideas still embodied from within, “Unbelievable that is”

“Nobody understands you – like you” – Mmaletsema Mokgohlwa

© 2019 Mmaletsema Mokgohlwa

Men; What has gone wrong?

I cannot think straight

I am heating up

every time when I see you

I cannot sleep

For you’ve become my living ancestor

this feeling I have never felt before

 I then pursue you

with the intention of getting permission

To be with you

You accept me into your life

Then suddenly entitlement 

I feel to your body

Permission I need not

To sleep with you

What changed?

For permission I needed 

To be with you

In the first place

The same permission

I still require to sleep with you

but yet disregard

If you don’t want

Don’t feel like it

Then don’t do it

To make me happy

Instead, making yourself happy

Should be your first priority 

Consensus should automatically emanate from within

How many women do this for their partners?

whilst truly they don’t want at all

It’s your body

Only you SHOULD decide when and how it should be used

Some men violate women sexually

due to the prevalent existence of power dynamics and patriarchy

worse enjoy and are advantaged by this 

but when tables are turned and it’s their daughters

caught in a similar predicament

they instantly find something to be wrong with the same system

which they, themselves utilise to their advantage daily

with no strain or chain of complaints

absolute hypocrisy

Feminist men are needed now more than ever

to protect women even when THEY fail to protect themselves

on a journey of making us happy at the expense of their own happiness

REAL men would not allow this to happen

For they know the real worth of a woman

in all aspects of womanhood

from start to the end

“What kind of a man are you and what role do you actually play in women’s lives even when nobody is watching” – Mmaletsema Noko 

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Words spoken

Actions differ

Character revealed

Yet constantly changes

Uncertainty thunders

Doubts given birth to

Trust lost

Reality hits hard

Truth unveiled

Hearts broken

Expectations shattered

Lives re-build

Yesterday haunts today, still

“I have noticed that what we say and do are quite two different things” —  Mmaletsema Noko 

It’s not me

It’s never my fault. It’s everyone else’s fault.  When will this line of thinking ever come to an end? Refusing responsibility when circumstances do not favour you it’s rather questionable and reveals more of an individual’s character than their intelligence and ability to get themselves out of problems. If there is one thing I have learnt along the way is the mere fact that there is a need not to always be right and win every discussion.    The sooner people learn to understand the concept and value of winning even when loosing, the better. There is more to life than always having the last word even when it’s entirely unnecessary. Conversations that we have should not be based on competition of who makes the greatest and valid points but should be more centred around what difference actually emanates from our interactions. What piece of ourselves and footprint do we plant and live behind in all forest of conversations we hike in. Our footprint should not always be of extreme intensity but more accommodative of all people from all walks of life. 

If there is one thing that a win and failure have in common; it’s the fact they both are not guaranteed. So either way, it’s okay, to fail plus nobody plans to fail. However, the opposite could be said for winning. Everyone wants to win. But there is a time and place for everything. I have interacted with a portion of people that always wanted to win even when they should not. To give a practical scenario; we’ve got two colleagues from the emergency service call centre, they are the first people to be contacted whenever an emergency occurs. However, there is an issue between the two colleagues as one feels he’s the only one that answers the phone more than the other one. And it’s true by the way and management it’s aware and has reluctantly shown any signs of resolving this issue.  So as retaliation, the personnel who feels let done by management then decides to act in a worst possible scenario when incoming calls are at their peak by actually not answering any calls just like his colleague has for a while been doing. However, in deciding not to receive any incoming calls, he automatically addressed his issues with the colleague, rightly or wrongly so at work and unintentionally caused a life of an innocent citizen who needed emergency help and had nothing to do with the squabbles that have been ongoing at work. But sadly was caught in the middle of a “war at work” which he hardly ever contributed to. Is this fair and acceptable? Do you now get it, when I say, “there is time and place for everything despite how wronged you may feel”? Because issues at work, especially for emergency services personnel, are not worth risking the life an ordinary person desperately needing medical attention. Sometimes the need for logic to prevail is urgently required than our egos and skewed vengeance. At times taking full responsibilities for some of the mistakes you intentionally and unintentionally made does not mean that you are never going to fight what you believe to be wrong. Timing also plays a significant role and those able to read it well, reveal a sense of emotional intelligence and maturity that they embody. 

© 2019 Mmaletsema Mokgohlwa

 

 

  

A Dream

It’s the dawn of the morning
I enter my room and instantly sense this weird presence
That led me to switch on the lights
Only to see you with your face covered
I move nearer with the suspense of revealing your identity
Whilst rattled by the unknown of what I may uncover

My heart is pounding and as for my body is sweating and trembling
For you are in my room, uninvited
And your entire body completely covered with a blanket,
“Who could this be in my territory, unannounced”, I ask myself
Closer I now move to you and as for my curiosity, it’s to be answered.
In a split second suddenly you remove the cover
For I, to see your face 
Shocked I am – for I know you
And never expected you to be in my personal space
Nor invade it for that matter

But surprisingly you smile as all is fine
I too strangely join in and smile back
Instead of throwing you out
I then held your hand, instantly falling asleep
What happened, I still wonder even today
The truth is yet to be known

Instant unpredictable change

In a blink of an eye

One second – excited; making future plans

Waiting eagerly for them to unfold as planned

Silently counting downtime

Time hastily passed by

Suddenly all crumbles down

Plans put into motion

Dismantled within a minute

Into million pieces of glass

That could never be glued back

Then all plans change

Life takes a new twist of turns

Uncertain the future starts to seem

For it differs with the one

I have been socialized to believe

It is different from the one imprinted in my imagination

Time, I cry foul at, but it continues still

Like nothing had transpired

Adapting to circumstances, I am compelled

Although devastation has taken its toll

Lessons to be learnt

For life always contains an element of unpredictability

The cycle hardly reaches an end

The same it remains – “unpredictable”

Although it is meant to be out mostly lived

By all of us (you and I)

“Life is generally unpredictable and with that said, one has to always anticipate the possibility of things going either way” – Mmaletsema Mokgohlwa

Life

Sunrises

A new day it represents

Plans put into motion

Unpredictable life constantly becomes

Every second, minutes and hour

Whilst it leaves on the lips; a sour taste

Whilst it leaves on the lips; a sweet taste

Be that as it may; its experiences – bad or good

Nobody is left untouched by them

It’s all the same for everyone

Ultimately when the sun sets

“Life is unpredictable, but no one is left untouched by its experiences” Mmaletsema Mokgohlwa

Different yet the same

It is amicably strange

how control we do not have

and solutions lack at times

yet through trials and disasters

and states of emergencies

across all corners of the earth

we attain a particular realization of how similar

we truly are

through our differences

COVID-19 is a good illustration

it affects the entire world

humanity is on the brink of collapse

as a result

although the pain that erupts

through deaths and falling sick

It unites the human race

through social distancing

How ironically strange

As difficult as it may be

Lives would be saved

this needs to be done

for the sake of humanity